First of all, can I tell you how red in the face I am – seriously I’m livid.  It’s my birthday for cryin’ out loud and I shouldn’t have to wage war AGAIN with Barnes & Noble’s inept customer service center for their idiocy.

Some background.  I’ve been a loyal B&N customer for YEARS.  I’ve held the membership faithfully.  I buy a TON of books, DVDs, etc.  I often enjoy the website’s interviews, etc. and make a point to buy all my magazines there.  Needless to say they make a good sum of funds off me.  I’ve noticed that recently my orders have been *ahem* shall we say slow.  Now one of the perks of buying a certain amount online is “Free Super Saver Shipping” which you could set your clock by – 3 business days or so and *boom* it’s in my hands.  Which is great like when I want to review Jaden’s fabu new cookbook “Steamy Kitchen” and I am looking forward to the UPS guy knocking on the door with that gorgeously shot book (yes I leafed through a copy in the store – I couldn’t wait).  I also ordered the Foodie Handbook by the one and only Pim.  Can we say I’m crazy stoked about both of these books – both of which I put back in anticipation of the order coming to my mailbox. 

Well – it’s two weeks later and, guess what – not one but TWO orders are “lost in the mail”.  That’s my original order AND the order that they issued as a replacement for the first one that is “M.I.A” from a distribution center in NEW JERSEY – the next flippin’ state over.

When I called with concern at the end of the week last week to find out what the heck is going on because well, you just can’t get tracking from their inept distributor ARGIX DIRECT, they informed me that there were a few complaints and that the replacement would ship out via UPS to me from now on as I’m a member who has been with them for years.  The B&N operator was very understanding and also told me that she was having problems personally with this dumb as rocks (my description – NOT hers) ARGIX DIRECT.   She assured me it would ship out post haste and I again waited patiently for the little present to come to the door.  Now, mind you my Sephora order came and that I ordered SUNDAY NIGHT via UPS.  The UPS here in Philly rocks!  Love them (which, if you know me is quite the event because UPS in Orlando and New Hampshire seriously sucked!)

Well, I get an email from B&N which tells me that it reshipped my replacement order and *wait for it* it went via ARGIX DIRECT via US MAIL.  AGAIN – from New Jersey – next state over.  Shipped out and *boom* guess what – it’s lost in the mail again and we can’t find ANY tracking info for it because B&N and/or ARGIX dropped the flippin’ ball.  What happened to “Ms. Lys – we’re going to ship it to you ASAP through UPS so you won’t have this problem again“

Needless to say, I lost my patience today when I had to talk to this gal “Cecile” or whatever who not only told me my address was wrong (newsflash – I changed it immediately when I moved and it’s on all my receipts so check your flippin’ screen dummy because the gal prior to you knew the right address) and then told me “ohhh – it’s got to be lost”.  When I told her I just renewed my membership and I wanted it canceled and refunded – no go.  She begrudgingly refunded my order cost for both books and I told her that we’re having a hell of a breakup.  This is no Ross/Rachael Friends Breakup – this is the real deal as in don’t call me, don’t email me, lose my damn number we are O.V.E.R.  Seriously – OVER.  Which is sad and hurts me deeply because I really did love going to B&N and browsing the aisles.  Now, it’s all Borders & Borders.com which is 20 min. out of the way for me but to prove my point, I’ll do it. 

So Barnes & Noble – I don’t believe a word of what you say anymore.  Clearly, while I know you are “cutting costs” by using this supposedly cheaper ARGIX DIRECT service, you just lost a very loyal (and profitable) customer.  I’ve put up with your lack of changing magazines, lack of stock in the Plymouth Meeting Store, etc. because to me B&N has been a part of my shopping loyalty since I was in college.  I just can’t sit by and say “Oh it’s okay” because really it’s not.  What you are doing to customers is disappointing.  So, here’s where I tell you publicly (and my readers) – do NOT buy the membership – it’s not worth it.  And, that’s money I will never see again but I’m sure you will need that $25 because you will lose more customers than me by year’s end if you keep this inept shipping distributor.  Clearly, ARGIX has proved itself to be useless in my eyes not once but TWICE.  Go figure.

So excuse me while I head over to BORDERS to go buy the Foodie Handbook and Steamy Kitchen at FULL PRICE because, you know what, Borders has NEVER did me wrong like you have Barnes & Noble.  And I’m sure they will welcome my business (and wallet) with open arms.

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